|Pictured: Fantastic results|
|And not the good kind, either.|
The new hit show for tween girls and homosexuals, Glee, is cast in the surprisingly glamorous world of Lima, Ohio. In the first season, we are introduced to the cast as they are starting their sophomore year of high school. The Glee club quickly comes to consist of a football captain, a pair of Asians, a few cheerleaders, the most annoying spawn of life you have ever met, a soul sista', and a cripple. And a few filler characters that were never seen again...
|Seriously, what the FUCK happened to this kid?!|
Well, for starters, let's point out the fact that at the beginning of their sophomore year, most of these kids should technically be 15 years old. That means they shouldn't even be old enough to drive a car without their parents, which is odd, considering most of them look old enough to have a freaking family.
|If this girl is 15, then I am having some truly disturbing feelings right now.|
|They're all so excited for their drivers tests.|
|"This sort of tastes like I could go to jail for hitting someone..."|
Let's be real here, no one can help but notice that the high school from Glee appears to have the means, resources, and free-fucking-money that allows it to give the show choir kids (a group that a majority of the school detests) the ability to perform a Broadway level song every time one of the members has a freaking breakup.
|"Damn, our Booster Club is awesome!"|
|"Wait...what ABOUT the Drama Club?"|
|"Hey man, I know these things cost $4,000 a pop...but shouldn't our football team have helmets?"|
Despite the fact that I know every one of you soaks up cheap, high school drama like a college freshman on a beer spill, but there is one reason as to why you watch Glee: the performances. It's all about the music in the show, and quite frankly, it is outstanding. These our Broadway level singers taking on pop tunes that we all recognize and submit ourselves to enjoying. Here's the thing, though. In the world of Glee, these teens make no mistakes, and they appear to have zero practice.
|"We whipped this shit up during the last passing period."|
|Just look at that icy, cold stare.|
Apart from the fact that Rachel refers to the shows main pianist as nothing more than a piece of furniture (which is rebutted with said pianists suicidal shoulder shrug), Glee makes it seem as if William McKinley High School has some questionable resources apart from their abundance of professional equipment. No, I am referring to these guys.
You were expecting a picture, weren't you? Well, not only do the background musicians in Glee get no acknowledgment for possessing human qualities in their show, they get none in real life. If you type in "Glee Background Musicians" on Google images, guess what you get? Well, mostly just pictures of the main characters. Ouch.
Think about it, every time you watch Glee, the main characters can break into song whenever they want to with the full confidence that they will have musical lemmings somewhere in the vicinity, waiting on their cue, and coming in with a perfect performance.
|"I really hope I get to eat today."|
|See? Even a cripple can do it. Feel Special now?|
|Pictured above: pure rage incarnate|
|Yeah we get it, Mrs. Shelley. Fuck you too.|
- Has attempted to launch a student out of a malfunctioning human cannon, making her sign a waiver first so that she nor her family can sue her if (when) she dies or gets seriously injured
- Pushes kids in the hallway (multiple times) for no other reason than her pure unbridled hysteria
- Starts an actual stampede in the school auditorium, which wouldn't be so bad if those didn't, you know, fucking kill people
- Rerouted the Glee Club's plane tickets to New York to land in Libya, where they would "be surrounded by armed militia"
Okay, so what? I've proved that she is at least a bitch of massive proportions, but what does that have to do with the show being unrealistic?
If you have been to a high school, ever, you have been around or at least heard about stories where a teacher almost loses his job for some stupid reason. Like this lady, who got fired from the Christian school she worked at for having sex three weeks before her wedding date.
|"We call bullshit"|
However, a student should never realistically have the fear that today might be the day that the bat-shit crazy PE teacher assaults her in a crime of relentless anger and hate, or attempts to sacrifice her life in an attempt to win a cheer leading competition.
|"FEAR ME! WORSHIP ME, DAMN IT!"|