Wednesday, June 1, 2011

5 Ridiculous PETA Quotes

Before you say anything, you knew this was coming. This blog has had some controversial moments, and you knew that somewhere in here, PETA would get theirs. I would honestly feel worse about offending some people if it weren't for the fact that it is becoming more and more clear that a good amount of PETA's higher-up's are bat-shit crazy. Below are some quotes from very respected (let's go with recognized (let's go with bat-shit crazy)) PETA officials, and some of them are...fuck it, just look for yourself.

#1 - Eating Meat = Domestic Violence

Starting us off strong will be the vice-president of PETA, Bruce Friedrich. At the 2002 Animal Rights Convention, he unleashed this tidbit of wisdom on the crowd:

"Eating meat is not your personal decision, any more than, you know, whether somebody beats their child is their personal decision." - Bruce Friedrich

Wait, what? Did Friedrich just compare waltzing down the street and grabbing a McChicken to beating your own offspring?

"What the hell?"
Little Suzie up there is right. What the hell is Bruce talking about? I understand that eating meat is somebody's personal choice, and there is no reason to ridicule someone for being a pansy. But saying that it holds the same amount of moral standing as deciding to not beat your child is probably stretching it a little far don't you think? Sadly, as this article will show again, and again, and again, PETA seems to hold their children in the same regard as poultry and other such animals.

#2 - Fire and Brimstone for Meat Eaters

Yet again, Bruce Friedrich has not-so-innocently stumbled onto this list. By the end of this article, you are going to question this man's sanity. This is a quote that was not only recorded in writing, but in audio as well. The quote? You might want to sit down.

"It would be great if all the fast-food outlets, slaughterhouses, these laboratories and the banks who fund them exploded tomorrow." Bruce Friedrich

Serves you right.
Yes, on top of being a proponent of domestic violence (source needed), Friedrich is apparently a big proponent of blowing up buildings that have shit-tonnes of people in them. Imagine if his wish came true; the death count would definitely be in the millions, and he's pretty much okay with that.

"Sounds about right"
#3 - Crime is Fine with Animals on the Line

Alex Pacheco, the director of PETA, has no problem speaking his mind (it is starting to seem that it's a requirement if you wish to work for PETA). In fact, he made a statement that appears to be that of a terrorist mindset, having been quoted saying:

"Arson, property destruction, burglary and theft are 'acceptable crimes' when used for the animal cause." - Alex Pacheco

Oh really? Because no they fucking aren't. 

"Really? Well you should have just told us that this was all in the name of Prince Puffington!"
 According to PETA's director, doing crime in the name of the animal kingdom is basically a virtual "get out of jail free" card for any type of crime. Not even petty crime, either. This man is proposing that things such as burglary, property destruction, and lighting shit on fire is all perfectly fine as long as their is an animal cause at hand. 

"Mittens" would be so proud.
 #4 - KFC = Auschwitz

No, the title of this section is not an over-exaggeration. Like, at all. This doozy of a quote comes from the President of PETA herself, Ingrid Newkirk. There really is no preface necessary for this quote, so let's just jump right in.

"Six million Jews died in concentration camps, but six billion broiler chickens will die this year in slaughter houses." - Ingrid Newkirk

Even though this quote, by itself, is merely stating facts, I'm pretty sure there was more intent that that. The intent being that she believes that chicken breast you're about to eat might as well have come from Anne Frank's thigh. Yes, she is insinuating that America's killing of millions of chicken for things like sustenance and nourishment is in the same category of "not okay" as the freaking genocide. 

Listen guys, I know this sucks, but think about the chickens.
#5 - Tom Regan is a Douche-bag

You could say that the label for this section isn't very creative, but after reading this quote by animal rights author and philosopher Tom Regan, you won't be able to say that it isn't the truth. Regan was presented with a hypothetical scenario that involved a baby and a dog in a capsized boat. The question was this: who would he save? His answer?

"If it were a retarded baby and a bright dog, I'd save the dog." - Tom Regan

 WHOA THERE, Tom Regan. Nobody presented the mental status of the child, nor the dog. However, he is making it perfectly clear that if the baby was retarded, well then fuck him.

"Are you SHITTING me right now?"
No, Damien, Regan has made his position clear. If you were drowning in the ocean, struggling for your last breath of life, and there was a fairly intelligent cockier spaniel drowning next to you, I wouldn't get your hopes up. 

Pictured above: a complete asshole

So there you have it. As much as PETA loves them some cuddly animals, here is a list of things they will not tolerate:

- Domestic violence getting more attention than those evil carnivores
- Non-flame-engulfed fast food joints and slaughter houses
- Getting convicted for crimes
- Jews being held in higher regard than chickens
- The mentally disabled

If you respected PETA before this, well now you should have some serious thinking to do. My suggestion? Steak makes great brain food.

1 comment:

  1. I love the little picture comments, they are so funny. overall these quotes are just downright horrible and only complete idiots would actually have the nerve to say them, So peta should really stand for Pathetic euthanizing terrible assholes. enough said