Sunday, May 22, 2011

4 Popular Feminism Factoids (That are actually BS)

Let me start off by saying that this is definitely a tender subject. Even right now, as I am writing this, I am imagining the repercussions of this blog, and none of them seem pleasant.

Pictured: Not pleasant
 Now, I am going to start off by stating that I realize full well that at one point, females were viewed as lesser beings in society, and the smell of burning bras in the air was completely justified (worth mentioning is the fact that taking your bra off is not on the list of ways to piss off men). However, in today's day and age, the role of women in society has reached a point of equality in which unfair treatment is hardly seen in day to day life. Yet the feminist wave of anger and faux-hawks persists with little indication of slowing. Here are four ridiculous myths that are spread by uber-feminists in order to make men the common enemy that they, for some reason, deeply crave.

#1 - Women Make 75% as Much Money as Men

This claim has gone around for decades now, with feminists claiming that women get paid far less than men for no other reason than the lack of a schlong under their twisted panties.

As wrong as this may seem, he is still getting the full dollar for his work.

Why this is BS:

How many of you have held a long term job? Have you ever been around on payday and seen your female counter part stare at her check in confusion at a paycheck that is worth only 3/4 of the one you have received? The answer is no, because if such were the case, you could bet your sweet behind that your female counterpart would have your boss in a breast-filled full monty before he had time to even say "aunt". This is because if you hold the same job as woman, with the same amount of credentials, and the same amount of time with the company, you will be paid the same fucking amount of money. Now, could there be differences from paycheck to paycheck? Of course. But these differences in monetary compensation for work are never based on what type of action you've got going on between those thighs of yours. It is based on things like how many dependents you have claimed, or how long you have been with company, or just how well you do during your "one-on-one evaluations" with the boss.

My my, Rachel, those ARE two good reasons for a raise!

So, why is this myth even around?

The reason is all in the wording. This statistic is always represented as if women are being paid less for doing the same job as their male counterparts, when the statistic is actually representing the amount of money that women earn across the board, not taking into account what experience they have, how many hours they work, or even what freaking job they have. It's the same as saying that the homeless guy downtown with 4 cats is making 0% of the money that Bill Gates is making. This statistic is basically stating that if you pull a random male and a random female off of the street, chances are that the female is making less money. The reason for this? Gender based interests. High schools across the board show that males excel in subjects such as science and math, while females take the cake (home to their working husbands) in subjects such as English and history. In case you are not aware, let me lay something out for you: individuals with college degrees in math and hard sciences get paid a LOT more than those Starbuck's baristas with history and English degrees.

It's pronounced "venti", asswipe.
#2 - 1 in 4 Females in College Will Get Raped

Okay. At first, I didn't even want to acknowledge this popular myth because, you know, it freaking isn't true. However, I recall my freshman orientation at Central Washington University, and they bumped up the scare-o-meter by stating that it is actually 1 in 3 females who get raped whilst at college.

"So you ARE interested in my private study group?"

Why this is BS:

Come on, now. We should all know better than this. How many of you can go into a college cafeteria and picture 25-33% of those females getting surprise sex in their college career? Unless you are a quite ambitious sex offender, chances are that you really don't see that as plausible. Why don't you think that this is plausible? Because it isn't. Let me illustrate my point with a real world scenario. At my college, there have been only three cases of attempted rape on campus, and every situation turned into campus wide shitstorm.

Everybody grab a pitchfork and torch! We're gonna get the bastard!

 If one in three girls were getting raped, why would the entire fucking student body react in a way that resembles a nuclear bomb threat when someone simply tries to get their rape on and fails? Of course, you can tell me that not every girl who gets raped tells anyone, but I can go ahead and tell you that studies show that this amount of silent rape victims is currently sitting at about 60%. That is a large amount, I'll admit, but math would say that this means 1 in 10 girls on my campus should be getting raped and squealing their asses off about it.

So, why is this myth even around?

If you haven't been through a college freshman orientation, let me fill you in on their number one goal: to scare the ever-loving shit out of you. According to the college faculty, every drug will leave you naked in a field surrounded by equally naked hobos, every drop of alcohol is one more step on the slippery slope that wants to send you ass up on the toilet, and you want to know the worst part? If you ever, and they mean EVER, drag your unprepared little ass to a party, guess what happens?

This. THIS happens.

Colleges are big on scare tactics, and I mean BIG. If you're on a college campus at this moment, take a look out your window. Chances are, you can see an "emergency pole". If you haven't been to a campus, let me explain the concept. "Emergency poles" are 6-7' tall poles with bright lights on the top of them, and a big button you can push to call the police if you are in a jam.

However, I digress. This popular "1 in 4" statistic was a result of a poll that was commissioned by "Ms." magazine. The researcher, Mary Koss, was hired by a hardcore feminist by the name of Gloria Steinem. One little mishap in relation to this poll, however. After the statistic was already released, Koss came forward and stated that 73% of the women she counted as being raped were not actually aware that they had been raped, and 43% were already dating their "attacker" again.


#3 - "The Rule of Thumb"

This is one of the oldest attempts by feminists to make men out as monsters in the book. Anyone who has seen The Boondock Saints knows full well about this urban legend of accepted abuse. The reference takes place when Sean Patrick Flannery makes the mistake of saying "the rule of thumb" in front of a very large, very angry feminist in a meat plant. The feminist in question makes a mini-speech to everyone in the warehouse stating that the rule thumb is a reference to an old-time rule that allowed men to beat their wives with a stick so long as the stick being used was no wider than their thumb. This is when Flannery makes the ill-fated remark, "can't do much damage with that, now can we? Perhaps it should have been the rule of wrist.”

Pictured: An angry feminist, seconds away from planting her work boot into Sean Patrick Flanery's family jewels

Why this is BS:

Well, simply put, there is no indication that this was ever a law. Like, ever. This law was supposedly passed by Judge Sir Francis Buller in 1782. Even though there is no doubt that Buller was a rough, and famously arrogant judge, there is absolutely no indication that he ever passed such a law. The actual origin of the popular phrase is still unknown, and has been around since the 1600's.

So, Why is this myth even around?

Honestly, who knows. Feminists of the day more than likely saw a phrase with no actual meaning behind it, and came up with a meaning that forwarded their movement by making men out to be abusive ingrates. Granted, in 1700's era Europe, men were abusive. However, they really didn't need a rule of thumb. They could have realistically used any damn stick they very well pleased, and probably not gotten a batted eyelash from government officials.

#4 - 30% of female emergency room admittances are for domestic violence

Although laughable, this statistic is actually quite popular amongst active feminists. According to them, if you ever visit an emergency room, there is a one in three chance that you just got your shit rocked by your significant other.

"Doctor, this is the 32nd case of 'falling into a doorknob' this week!"
Why this is BS:

Let's just start off with some realistic statistics, like the fact that the National Center for Health Statistics states that the realistic amount of domestic violence cases in emergency rooms is around 1%. Honestly, did you even need to read that to second-guess the fact that of ALL the injuries that lead people to emergency rooms, 30% of them are for domestic violence? Come on now, not every day can be Superbowl Sunday.

The very last thing she saw after bringing him and his friends Busch Light when they asked for beer

So, why is this myth even around?

After the last myth, do I really even need to answer this time?

All right men, let's review. Hard-core feminists think that you not only make more money than them for no apparent reason, but that you also want to rape them; and if not rape them, than beat the life out of them. Why does all of this happen? Because. Just fucking because.


  1. As you may notice, I deleted the cesspool of comments that were left on this article. Any comments, other than this one, will be deleted.
    Just a fair warning in case you were planning on wasting keystrokes.

    1. I agree with your article, but why delete the comments? Even if they were all negative toward you, deleting them just makes you look bad.