|Tell me that you don't want to sock his smug ass|
Below are 5 jobs that would send your sorry ass back to the desk without a moment's hesitation.
#1 - Animal Masturbator
Oh yea. You know exactly this is going.
While you sit in a cubicle bitching about all of those FAX's you need to look through, and all of those memo's you need to get up to speed on, there is a man out there, somewhere, who is about to grasp the loins of a fucking horse and rub one out for that horse as if it were his job. Because it is.
|Pictured: A good time to hit the classifieds|
#2 - Animal Inseminator
It's like the baton pass from your worst "The Deliverance" nightmares. Your co-worker has just successfully jerked off a barnyard animal-- no small feat --and you have grabbed the sticky vile and are now running towards your destination: some vacant livestock vagina. As you make your way over to the designation of said livestock's worst nightmare, you being to ponder why you didn't go to college.
|The guy on left is being courteous and avoiding eye-contact|
#3 - Guard at Buckingham Palace
Just a few questions before I dive into this one. Do you like being able to convey emotion? Your ability to appear human like? The privilege of sitting down? Not looking like a ridiculous asshole? Not getting treated like a ridiculous asshole? Then don't ever become a guard at Buckingham Palace.
|It was his best option with that English degree...|
If I were to encounter them, I would do one thing, and one thing only. Walk up to each and every one of them and say "knock knock!".
|"WHO THE FUCK IS THERE?!?!"|
#4 - Rodeo Clowns
Okay, so these guys seem like they are fine with their jobs, but my guess is that it's only the face paint talking. Because when you think about it, their job consists of one thing and one thing only: distracting a 1500 lb swirling meat package of hate and angst who wants nothing more than to shove his horns straight from your poop chute to your nostrils. That is their job.
|Better than pumping gas? Not at all.|
#5 - Disneyland Employee
All right. This one might be completely me, but what are Disney employees other than the exact opposite of those hard asses from Buckingham? Your job, for you entire career is to act as happy as humanly possible. It doesn't matter if you've had a bad day, it doesn't matter if it's that time of month, it doesn't matter if your boss just assigned you to "It's a Small World" for the 5th time this week, you just have to stand there and pretend that you a carefree man child.
|I have never seen someone's face scream for help like this one.|